Do not share. Just let it flow within you!
I write for my happiness. I end up writing poems, anecdotes, fiction and share stories and experiences with people who have similar interests than mine. I also come from a space of developing and sustaining long term positive connections, which comes from a space of genuine affinity, love, respect and admiration. I also meditate and undertake self reflection and cultivate those habits that make me intrinsically happier. As an agnostic with a little spiritual orientation, I get a surge of energy when I connect to the people who matter to me.
I send my poems and stories to my friends but I seldom ask them if I need to send them. Am I imposing my thoughts on others? I never used to think like this, till a very close friend challenged me. She felt that I have been seeking external validation through my work and that my friends would anyhow praise my work and this would be a barrier in my growth, both as a human being and as a writer. This initially felt shocking but later on I felt that I was uplifted and redeemed. However, my mind started pouring more thoughts over thoughts where on one side I was agreeing with my friend and while on the other, the rigid part of me was saying that she was completely not understanding me. It took me a while to come out of this conundrum and I internalized the message. Although I still do not fully agree to her point of view, it has led me to do some serious thinking. Of course, She did mention that I could post what I write, on social media where people would read if they were interested. And the bigger message was, “write for youself and your happiness” and I am in total alignment with this thought process.
Indeed, the conversation was very powerful because she has my interest in her mind. I personally feel that any conversation becomes impactful when you want to add value to people’s lives and try to take them from a place of confusion to a place of empowerment.
The thing that I do not agree with her is that she told me not to thank her or compliment her for anything, anytime, including not to say, “It was a pleasure talking to you”, whenever we meet or speak over phone. I practice gratitude, and that is a calling from my heart and I genuinely have a deep sense of gratitude for what she brings to my life’s journey. She brings me smiles. Not having a sense of gratitude or compassion in my future conversations with her may create a small barrier in communicating as I cannot indulge in a straightforward banter. I come from a space of empathy, equity and serenity and that is what I am. I like to create a space for open and gentle conversations. I may now write my gratitude to her in my journal and think of ways in which I can communicate to her, without losing what I represent, while respecting her “non-expectations”.
To conclude this small piece, yes I am empowered in terms of not sharing and I will try to see how it works, for a month. Feeling a sense of well-being within is the best way to be happy and research in positive psychology is exploring this nuance of well-being as well, where you do things for the fun of it. Extrinsic happiness leads to seeking validation and ehnancing our expectations for a favourable response. We need friends who can challenge our beliefs and help us become better. In this context, I have great sense of gratitude for my friend! Although I may not fully agree with her but she has an important point to make. I may still share something which makes me happy with my wonderful friends, but with a sense of awareness. May we all have such people in our lives who bring the best out of us!
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