A dialogue with Buddha on Vulnerability and Judging
Yesterday morning I was at my favorite joggers park, with a purpose driven brisk walk and some jogging. While I was in my second round, my mind was not focused on walk but on thoughts that were coming and going without letting me understand why was that happening. One thought emerged that my indulgence in helping people or giving them more time at the cost of procrastinating on important matters was not helping me and I was neglecting things that I should have ideally done, for instance being better at time management or learning better Business Development skills. One thought lead to another and that was surely not good especially when I was out for a walk!
These thoughts made me de-energize and I thought of taking a small break while sitting on a park bench. I was just ruminating and remembering all the past mistakes I have made. Suddenly, a figure which looked hazy appeared out of nowhere, in front of me. He was smelling of jasmine and sandalwood and wearing maroon robe. It was kind of velvetty and the cloth was not from the region I live in. He folded his hands and gently murmured, “I am Buddha and I am pleased to meet you”
I was nonplussed for a moment but then I folded my hands and said, “Pleased to meet you. But I have been told that beings like you do not meet us mortals”. He smiled and said, “Well you are right but sometimes I get bored as well, but then, I get humored by people who take my teaching, specially the Lotus Sutra so damn seriously. So, I needed a break and I thought I would sit with you for a while. Can I spend some time with you?”
I nodded and he sat next to me. “Nice park”, he looked around and said. “Happy to see so many living possibilities here”
“Possibilities”? I asked with a blank face
“Yes. They think they are living without knowing the life. But they can become aware if they work on themselves”
“Can you elaborate?”, I asked the Buddha
“I believe that once people understand that each of us are just mere compounded beings, made out of energy, we may end up at much more peace and at the heightened level of possibilities. The possibilities to feel alive, happy and fully aware. The possibilities to look at the life as it is, like a witness, without judging, just letting it happen”
I argued, albiet gently, “It is difficult to not to judge”
He laughed out loud and said, “Really”?
He kept silent for a while and said, “All of us are born unique. No two people in the entire planet are same in every aspect. Even twins for that mattar. I heard recently that there were these twins in Russia. They looked alike and their emotional levels were same. One of them lived till 80 while the other died early, of cancer. So no two people are alike in any form or shape. If you give a common medicine to say 10 patients who suffer from flu, it will react differently on all of them.”
“Yes, that is a known fact that all of us are different. So”?
“So, what are you judging then? Why are you looking at other people from your lens? If they are different, you cannot imagine that they will agree with you all the time. Let us say a friend gives a foolish answer to your questions few times in a row, you will judge him to be stupid. There may be someone else who would judge him to be funny. Maybe both of you are wrong”
“Isn’t life boring if we do not judge people”?
He laughed again and said, “Well life is much more interesting if you are not judging. It makes you open to talk to more people. You don’t need to judge yourself as well, which I believe you have been doing today morning”
I looked at him in amazement and asked, “How do you know”?
“I am Buddha for nothing”. He winked
Before I could say anything, he continued, “Ruminating about past mistakes is the worst kind of self-saboteur. You make decisions. Some work for you and some don’t. Past connot be revisited. You were sponteneous and you were vulnerable. That is about it. Being vulnerable means being open and trusting your instincts. It may result in some negativity but then that is how we become much more aware of ourselves”
“But I have not been working really hard on my weaknesses”, I told him
“Start with mindfuless and create that space of non-judgemental opinion of yourself. Consider what your strengths are today. Postpone understanding our weaknesses at a later date. And just make an effort to add value to your day, few seconds at a time. It can be through sending loving kindness wishes to someone whom you do not have a good relationship or by writing a note of appreciation to yourself, as a witness. Whatever you do while listening to your heart is all fine. Don’t change the way you live life because that is your style, your badge of honour. Just be a bit more open and aware”
He smiled and said, “And most of it, celebrate your vulnerability. This makes you a better human”
Saying this, he suddenly disappreard. I got a visual of a lotus flower up in the sky and I smelled some roses along with Jasmine and Sandal. I took another round of walk. There was peace all around and within me.
